One night in a ‘Badiya’ bus!

Good Friday. Holiday. Long week end!

I have been meaning to go to Bikaner for a photo shoot for quite some time now. So I decided to make use of this long week end and go to Bikaner. No reservations. Nothing! But I desperately wanted to go! Luckily I have a Rajasthani friend who is quite resourceful. I contacted him and he assured me that he would arrange everything for me so that I can be in Bikaner on Good Friday. I was immensely happy because I would be seeing Junagarh Fort, Havelis and of course camels!

My friend called up and told me on Wednesday, that he had booked my hotel at Bikaner and my ticket to Bikaner by a ‘Volvo’ bus, which takes 8 hours to reach Bikaner starting at Delhi at 10 PM. So my being in Bikaner on Good Friday was confirmed!

Thursday 7:30 PM - I took a taxi from Gurgaon and went to Delhi to board the ‘Volvo’ bus there. On the way I checked with my cab driver regarding the bus to Bikaner. He told me that it was a’ Badiya bus, fikar mat karo sab! So I was reassured again about the bus. My friend had also described it as a ‘Badiya bus’.

My friend joined me on the way to guide me to board the right bus. We reached the boarding point which was near ‘Lal kila’. I saw many buses parked there but my ‘Volvo’ was not in sight. My friend , after checking at one of the many counters there told me that the bus parked right in front of us was THE bus. But it was not a ‘Volvo’ and I was shocked! When I checked with my friend he showed  me the front of the bus where ‘Volvo’ was written! So according to my Rajasthani friend that was a ‘Volvo’ bus. God bless Ramesh!

So no going back now, as I was desperate to go to Bikaner. I boarded the bus and my friend located seat number 7 for me and I settled. Then I said bye to my friend and he left. I wanted to keep my overnighter above my seat. I had another shock, it was closed with a sliding door. The conductor of the bus told me it was a berth for people who had booked sleeper berth!!!!! In this part of India these buses are popularly called  1+2+sleeper!
 

What is 1+2+sleeper? Left side of the bus has a row of single seats while the right side has a row of double seats. Nothing out of the world, we can understand! But sleeper? Above the left side row of seats there are berths which accommodate a single person and on the right side, the berths are for two people! Unbelievable but true!

So the bus started on the dot (something that I should really appreciate!) As the cool breeze started to blow on my face I immediately slept off. After probably two or three hours the bus stopped for a break. As I opened my eyes I was shocked to see two legs hanging!!! Took me few seconds to realise that the upper berth guy was trying to climb down! The bus had stopped in a petrol bunk called Check & Fill. I do not know what he checked and what he filled.

After the break the bus started again and made too much noise all the way. Since nothing can disturb me while sleeping, I slept in spite of the loud noise all around. At last at 7 AM we reached Bikaner and I got off the bus and went straight to the hotel where I was booked. While I was getting down the bus I noticed the name of my bus! Can you guess? It is ‘Bad boy!’

 

 

After I checked in and entered the room I felt pin drop silence in the room.( Luckily Ramesh had not goofed up with the hotel like he did with the ‘Badiya bus’!) Then I realised that I had spent a whole night in a bus in which the only part which did not make any noise was the horn!

1+2+sleeper. Never again!!!!

Devikhund sagar - Bikaner, Rajastan

This is the cremation ground of Bikaner Royal Family. There are a number of Cenotaphs or Chhatris and numerous less prominent memorials for princes and princesses. The oldest among all is the Chhatris is that of Rao Kalyan Malji built in the year AD 1539-1571 who was the fifth ruler of Bikaner.

Cenotaphs or Chhatris are generally elevated, dome-shaped pavilions used as an element in Indian architecture, or funerary sites in India which have such structures built over them. Chhatris are basic element of Hindu as well as Islamic architecture. The term "chhatri" means umbrella or canopy.

The Chhatri of a male has a vertical memorial slab, whereas that of female has foot marks engraved on amarble slab. A memorial erected for a minor is called a Nada and it is a simple structure without a canopy.

Chhatris play an important role in Rajput’s art. It is a very elegant structure built of marble and red stones.

The chhatri of Maharaja Surat Singh is the most imposing. It has the spectacular Rajput paintings on the ceilings (dome). The designs carved on each Chhatri represent the taste of the particular Maharaja, in whose honour it was built.

As a mark of respect to all the departed souls we are not supposed to go inside this place with the foot ware. But they are so thoughtful! They are providing a special foot ware made of cloth which is allowed inside. Otherwise in Rajasthan heat our feet might develop blisters!

One thing which keeps bothering me when I visit such places - the entry fee collected from the tourists. For Indians it is INR 5 and for foreigners it is INR 10! In my view this should not be done!

Traditional Rajastani women's dress

Traditionally, women’s dresses in Bikaner, as almost all over Rajasran, compiled ghaghra, a flowing skirt, a sleeveless blouse; kanchali, a short bodice worn over the blouse and odhana, a veil cloth.

From hutment to palace, women are almost attired in this set of garments except that the materials and embellishments used, in the aristocratic palaces were precious, refined and elaborate. Dut to the customs of exogamy, Rajput women were given in marriage to distant princely cultural states. As such several cultural and stylistic elements mixed and mingled in the costumes of each ruling family.

The most popular materials and techniques used in the Royal costumes of Bikaner, as much as in other princely states of Rajastan, comprised gold and silver brocaded silk and zardozi, embroidery in gold wire. Often panels of skirt, or yoke pieces of blouses were specially woven for the purpose.

You can see several pictures of Zardozi embroidery here. All these photographs were taken in Bikaner Cultural Centre and Museum in Junagarh Forte, Bikaner, Rajasthan. Zardozi embroidery was worked on satin with usually heavy cotton lining to give support to the gold work. Certain portions of the work were cushioned or padded to raise the embroidery work. Gold braiding or laying of specially formed gold wires in the required manner was also quite popular.                                

                                                                                   

One peculiar technique of embellishing women’s garments in Rajasthan is gota work. Ribbens of various widths woven with gold or silver threads were attached to garments as boarders, or constructed into decorative elements such as flowers and creepers. Often times beads, pearls, beetle wings or semi-precious or precious stones were strung to these dresses.

All dresses, photographed here were of mid 20th century.

IPL – A superb business proposition!

Since the time Indian Premier League (IPL) started there have been many opinions, for and against – majority against! “India cannot afford IPL”, “Cricket is commoditised”, “Men are sold like sheep”, “It is a big joke”, “Test cricket will die” so on and so forth.

I fail to understand why these people are trying to be holier than the Pope! Guys who have bid for all IPL teams are basically in the business of making money and there is nothing wrong about it. Vijay Mallya, Nita Ambani, Shahrukh Khan, Shilpa Shetty and Subroto Roy to name a few. There was a fantastic business proposition available for these guys to invest in and they did. Period!

"There are approaches from not only Indian companies, but within 24 hours we got proposals from some very big clubs of the UK. They want to join hands with us. There are many kind of opportunities," Subroto Ray said after acquiring Pune team. If IPL is not a business would these offers come to Subroto Roy? Think!

“Can we spend so much of money in IPL’ – this is a very common question that is asked frequently these days! These guys who ask this question need to understand the difference between ‘expense’ and ‘investment’. All owners of IPL team did not ‘spend’ money. They have only ‘invested.’

Now what is an investment? – Investment is an amount of money spent in order to gain profitable returns, as interest, income, or appreciation in value. Every team owner has achieved this objective or will be shortly be achieving this.

IPL is business - A business can be defined as an organization that provides goods and services to others who want or need them. IPL did not force anyone to go to the grounds and watch the match or watch the match in television. Everyone who does one of the two things is doing so out of his/her own volition!

IPL has to be looked into as a pure business proposition superbly conceived by Modi. Look at the value he has created for IPL in particular and Indian cricket in general. The valuation of every team of IPL has increased considerably since IPL was started three years ago. As of today the highest value – Chennai Super Kings: $48.4 million, lowest – Hyderabad Deccan Chargers: $34.4 million. In just three years after its inception the brand value of IPL stands at $4.13 billion! Now India leads the world in the realm of cricket! A Fantastic achievement! When we evaluate this, from a business angle Modi scores 100 upon 100! I guess there is no other way of measuring this, as value creation is the primary financial performance indicator for measuring and evaluating the financial performance of any business.

Let us be honest to ourselves! How can you indulge in charity without earning a huge sum of money? I know for sure all these owners are doing excellent service to the poor of India. I am not going to write anything on the services each one is doing, because, this blog post of mine is not to sell the owners of IPL teams. Suffice it to say that they are doing lot of charitable work. Not charity, but love of profit, is their raison d'être to be in IPL!

It has now been proved beyond any doubt that this has become a super success. We need to understand that IPL is an entertainment business. Millions of people are entertained directly and through the television. I know how happy my wife and daughter are, when they are watching the cricket match.

Another positive fall out of IPL is that it has brought out many new players to the limelight. Not only that, it has also given an international platform for the young cricketers to perform.

This is an excellent opportunity all these new cricketers getting today. We should thank IPL for this. Sourab Tiwari, Ambati Royadu, and Theron, who knew these players before? At least I did not know these guys before!

For cricketers who have retired from the international scene – IPL offers the second chance. There are many of these guys who are doing extremely well in IPL even after their retirement. What keeps them going? The huge pay packet! If IPL had not been there, probably these players would have become history or expert commentators by now. IPL has definitely given them a second lease of life!

IPL has proved a big success not only in India but even outside India too. IPL-2 at South Africa was a huge success!

Sometime back there was a news item that the Maharastra government was thinking of making IPL tax free. I do not know what the status of this contemplation is. This again is height of stupidity arising out of not understanding what IPL is all about. If all of us are clear that IPL is also like any other business, such stupidities will not arise, and NDTV will also not have an opportunity to have a meaningless program on ‘Can India afford IPL’. It is a successful business and everyone involved in this should definitely be taxed.

Please for God sake treat it like any other business enterprise. Incidentally they are in the business of entertainment. Money making is undoubtedly ‘THE’ objective of IPL. Let us understand this and appreciate the business acumen of Lalit Modi.

Another important issue regarding IPL – The cheerleaders! "The scantily clad foreign girls' dances are certainly obscene and do not gel with Indian sensibilities, culture and ethos," said Mhetre. Indian sensibilities, culture and ethos! Give me a break! Honestly do our politicians know what these three words mean? I like Alyque Padamsee’s (Add guru) view on this: “Dancing cheerleaders are not the high point of culture but then Twenty20 is not classic cricket. Twenty20 is entertainment. It is like WWF, which is not wrestling. Cheerleaders add cheer to the game and yes they wear skimpy costumes but I think there is nothing wrong in that. Item girls in Bollywood films wear much less, so what is the hullabaloo about?"

Finally, Mandira Bedi and IPL. What’s Mandira Bedi’s role in IPL? Nothing! And that is what I feel sad about!

A memento for love.

‘Since the heaven and earth were created, you were made for me and I was made for you and I will not let you go” declared Chang Po to his beloved Meilan (Youtang, 1954, p.73)

“My beloved, the delight of my eyes”, exclaimed Inanna of her beloved Dumuzi in a Sumerian Poem recorded some four hundred years ago (Wolkstein, 1991, p.51)

An anonymous Kwakiutel Indian of southern Alaska recited these words in 1896: “Fires run through my body - the pain of loving you”. (Hamill, 1996)

Then the legend of the love between Prince Salim and a commoner Anarkali. The prince and the girl fall in love. Emperor Akbar deems the romance against royal wishes. The prince rebels and is sentenced to death. Anarkali steps forward and says that she will sacrifice her life instead, but wishes to spend one night with her lover. They have that one night. In the morning, the palace guards take her away and she is sandwiched alive in a brick wall!

Every culture in the world has had its version of Shah Jahan and Mumtaz. In a survey of 166 varied cultures, anthropologists found evidence of romantic love in 147. There were no negative data; in the remaining 19 societies, scholars have simply failed to examine this aspect of life. (The New Psychology of Love, Edited by Robert J. Sternberg and Karin Weis, 1992). India is no exception to this. Layla and Majnu, Satyavan and Savithri, Shiva and Shakthi, Salim and Anarkali and the list is endless. All these pairs have immortalised their love in some form. Shajahan chose to do so by building a cenotaph (Can I call it a cenotaph?) for his wife, who died during childbirth. Taj Mahal is the most beautiful and most precious token of love from a husband to his wife.

Edmond de Goncourt, said “Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists. When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence”. Shah Jahan must have felt the same way when he lost his wife. Was it to give expression to his love that he built the Taj Mahal? Probably yes.

John Lennon’s view of love; “Love is a promise; love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear”. Shahjahan could have also thought in a similar way.

“Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination”. Voltaire. I entirely agree with Voltaire, looking at the way Taj was conceived and executed by Shah Jahan.

“Love is a great beautifier”. Louisa May Alcott (1832-1888) American author. I must say L M Alcott was spot on! As a tomb, it has no match upon earth, for mortal remains have never been housed in

greater grandeur! Sigmund Freud said “One is very crazy when in love”. Very true again because Shah Jahan is believed to have emptied the treasury of his kingdom for Taj Mahal and spent 22 years in building Taj, neglecting his duties as an emperor!

After practicing for 30 years as a psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud said “The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is "What does a woman want?". Perhaps Shah Jahan was also baffled with his Mumtaz! He probably did not know what Mumtaz wanted. Confused thoroughly, did he build Taj Mahal? You never know.

May be the views of Sigmund Freud are a little cynical here, but it is also another way of looking at it.

Someone said,’ I believe that if I should die, and you were to walk near my grave, from the very depths of the earth I would hear your footsteps’. Would Mumtaz have heard the footsteps of Shah Jahan when he walked around Taj?

There are different views and interpretations of Taj Mahal. Whatever said and done the fact cannot be denied that Taj Mahal is indeed India's richest tribute to womanhood.

Now to modern Shah Jahan, Ekambaram.


Who is this guy?

Ekambaram was an ordinary agriculturist in Kelambakkam, Chennai, Southern India. He and his wife were married for over 30 years and were living happily till 2005. His wife Janaki died due to natural causes in 2005. Ekambaram spent 1 million rupees (which was his life’s savings) and built a temple for his wife! (It is in the Kelambakkam main road.)The sanctum sanctorum of this temple has the picture of Janaki and her beloved husband, Ekambaram, prays to it even today in this temple!!! According to Ekambaram, Janaki is still living in this temple! Not many people know about this Ekambaram and his temple of LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shah Jahan and Ekambaram both built a memento for their love. Shah Jahan, was an emperor who had everything in his command. But for Ekambaram only thing that was in his command was his strong love for his wife! That makes the difference!!!!!!!!!

Am I neurotic?

All of us have in us a certain degree of neurotic element. If we look back, we would probably realize that we could have handled a particular situation better! At least I have thought so many times! This indicates that all of us have exhibited a neurotic behaviour sometime or other in our life. Psychologists say that it is quite normal. (I am relieved!) The question is how often we have exhibited such behaviour and that determines if we should be ladled as a neurotic person or not!

If we go by the definition of Neurosis, there are several kinds which psychologists would be delighted to classify and give a high sounding name to it. What I am referring here is the mildest form which does not warrant treatment but disturbs our life to some extent.

Let me take some examples from our day to day life situations.


In personal life I go crazy, sometimes, (although my wife would not agree with the word ‘sometimes’) - When things are not under control, when something is delayed, when I am confronted by a problem which could have been avoided easily, when my home is not neat and tidy (Oops! let me stop, the list is getting too long!)


In my official life the scene is entirely different! If I do not exhibit any neurotic behaviour then something is definitely wrong with me! Everything is chaos - we seem to be thriving is chaos! Everything is ambiguous! Freud says “Neurosis is the inability to tolerate ambiguity.” So a neurotic behaviour in my official life is justified? I think so!


There is a lot of difference between what is real and what is perceived! “My perception is my reality” – very common in corporate meetings! The inability to distinguish subject from object! Again a fertile ground for neurotic behavior! Ok no more about my corporate life.


Coming back to my basic question “Am I neurotic?” I have been having this question in my mind for quite some time now! Why this doubt? Because Freud says “Every normal person, in fact, is only normal on the average.” If this is to be believed, surely I believe Freud; abnormality should exist in every normal person? Then how abnormal I am? Now you understand why I wanted to know “Am I neurotic?”


Sometime back when I was surfing for something and I chanced upon an interesting web site: The Neuroses Psychology Test - Are You Neurotic?

(http://www.neuroses.org/index.html)

Wow! I thought this would help me in answering my question - Am I neurotic? I underwent the test with utmost honesty and I got the result as mentioned below;

You are slightly neurotic and fairly enlightened as well

I was happy when I saw the result! (I am not sure how authentic this test is, but I would definitely like to believe this test as – Genuine and authentic!)

Kanyadaan.

The most emotional of all the rituals of the Hindu Brahmin marriage is Kanyadaan, when the father hands over all his rights and duties towards his daughter to her groom. I did it on January twenty first of this year. Yah! It was quite an emotional moment in my life! Nevertheless, this is an occasion every parent looks forward to. Although at the back of my mind the thought that my “Papu” (That’s how I call her.) will no more be mine and she will have a new person in her life was there, still I enjoyed her wedding thoroughly.

Among wedding day rituals, Kanyadaan is the most vital and significant ritual. Kanya Daan literally means gifting away a virgin, the word is actually a combination of two Sanskrit words, Kanya and Daan, wherein Kanya means a virgin and Daan means donation.

Now to the actual process of Kanyadaan.

Papu was made to sit on my lap and was given away as a gift by me to the bridegroom Ashwin.

On Papu’s head, a ring made of Dharbai was placed. And over it a yoke was also placed. The gold Thali was then placed on the aperture of the yoke. And “Jalam’ (holy water) was sprinkled though the aperture. The priests then chanted a mantra which means:

“Let this gold multiply your wealth, Let this water purify your married life, And may your prosperity increase. Offer yourself to your husband.”

The symbolism of the yoke is drawn out of ancient rural life where the only mode of transport for households was the bullock cart. It is supposed to signify that just as a bullock cart cannot run with just one bull the marriage needs both the bride and groom. Both of them have to face their responsibilities together.

Papu was then given a new saree exclusive for the occasion, called the Koorai Pudavai. Normally the colour of this saree is dark maroon, the colour associated with Shakti. This sari was draped around Papu by the sister of the bridegroom, signifying her welcome into the family of the bridegroom. A belt made of reed grass is then tied around Papu’s waist. The priests then chant mantras which meant:

"She stands here pure before the holy fire. As one blessed with boons of a good mind, a healthy body, life-long companionship of her husband and children with long lives. She stands as one who is avowed to stand by her husband virtuously. Be she tied with this reed grass rope to the sacrament of marriage."

Thanksgiving vedic hymns followed, to the celestial caretakers of her childhood, the deities of Soma, Gandharva and Agni. Having attained nobility, Papu was then free to be given over to the care of the human - her man- Ashwin.

The vedic concept underlying this ritual is figuratively that in her infancy Soma giave her the coolness of the moon. In the next stage of life the Gandharvas gave her playfulness and beauty. And when she becomes a maiden Agni gave her passion.

While offering my Papu to Ashwin I chant the following:

“I offer you my daughter: A maiden virtuous, good natured, very wise, decked with ornaments to the best of my abilities. With all that she shall guard your Dharma, Wealth and Love” 

Then Ashwin returned his assurance to me saying three times that he shall remain forever her companion in joy and sorrow, in this life and life after. 

This is the traditional way a Kanyadaan ritual as performed in a Tamil Brahmin wedding.

Now to the specifics and lighter side of my daughter’s marriage! We are Iyers (People who worship lord Shiva) and the groom is an Iyengar (They worship lord Vishnu). Obviously, as you rightly guessed, it was a love marriage! The entire marriage was a mix of two customs. 

Some differences between Iyers and Iyengars which I observed during my daughter’s wedding. The method of wearing the Madisar (Dress worn during Kanyadaan by the bride) is different. The thalaippu of the Koorai pudavai is put on the right side in Iyers but on the left side in Iyengars. (My wife likes the Iyengar way!)

The dhothi is worn in a particular style called Panchakacham in both our customs. But still there is a small difference. We wear them as it is (in white) but Iyengars dip it in turmeric water and make it yellow before wearing it.

During lunch we serve ‘Rasam’ but they call it ‘sathamudhu’.

The serving person in Iyer style says "innum konjam rasam podattuma or innum konjam rasam venuma". But in Iyengars, it goes like "innum konjam saathamudhu Kettukkarela...”

At the wedding lunch Iyers start serving first with ‘Payasam’. Iyengars start serving first with plantain fruit.

Whenever the bride or groom or both do Namaskaram, Iyers do it once, while Iyengars do it 3 times!

These kutti kutti differences made my daughter’s wedding more enjoyable. But we tried to follow tradition to the best of our ability. On the whole it was great fun!


Post script: Majority portion of the mantras chanted by the priests during the wedding are usually in Sanskrit.