Are more marriages in trouble these days?

My answer to this question would be ‘No’ (based completely on the Indian scenario).

The number of marriages in trouble, in my opinion, would almost be the same if you compare it with what was prevailing some thirty or forty years ago in India.

Dissatisfactions or incompatibilities with the spouse were always there. But the number of marriages culminating in a divorce or separation has definitely increased these days. In my view there are two reasons for this – first one being the economic independence of women and the second, change in the mindset of the society.

Number of working women has tremendously increased these days compared to three or four decades back in India. This is the primary reason for increase in the number divorces in India these days.

I am definitely not a MCP and I do not want anyone to misunderstand what I am trying to say here! The need to tolerate her husband has diminished over time. If we look at the situation some forty years back, women were less employed, empowered and enlightened; hence they were most often than not dependent on their husbands.

So in spite of differences they tolerated their husbands although not accepted them wholeheartedly. Although the relationships were miserable the marriage was stable! Women simply resigned themselves to their ‘fate’. The ‘need’ to live with the husband was very high.

This situation has changed drastically in India because of empowerment of women. These days almost all women are employed and hence they have an independent view on matters, which is very good. Their dependence on their husbands is not as it was years ago. So the ‘need’ to stay with her husband has diminished drastically, as she can independently live. The case was not so years back in India.  Another reason women tolerated their husband was polygamy was permitted among Hindus before the Act was passed in 1955.

Other reason women were dependent on men those days – Child marriage. Formerly, child marriages were common. The Child Marriage Act of 1929 was not very effective as such marriages were continued to be performed. Now, however, the bridegroom must be 21 years old and the bride 18 years.

There is no doubt that we are in the midst of a great revolution in the history of women in India. The evidence is everywhere; the voice of women is increasingly heard in Parliament, courts, television and in the streets. While women in the West had to fight for over a century to get some of their basic rights, like the right to vote, the Constitution of India gave women equal rights with men from the beginning.

Unfortunately, women in this country are mostly unaware of their rights because of illiteracy and the oppressive tradition. Many NGOs like Working Women’s Forum are educating women of modern India and the awareness among them is improving drastically these days.

Men can no longer take women for granted in India. The days have changed! They are different now and they are quite independent.

Contrary to sensational reports sometimes appearing in the news-hungry media in both India and other countries, female infanticide, bride burning (for reasons of dowry) and 'sati' (widow burning) are NOT normal in India. Each of these acts is a criminal act and an extremely rare occurrence.

Modern India is different. India has the world’s largest number of professionally qualified women. India has more female doctors, surgeons, scientists and professors than the United States. India has more working women than any other country in the world. This includes female workers at all levels of skill – from the surgeon and the airline pilot to bus conductors and menial labourers.

In spite of all these improvements on an average however, women in India are socially, politically and economically weaker than men. Moves are underway to empower women. There is a National Human Rights Commission for Women that handles all human rights violations against women. There is a National Council for Women that advocates policy for women. There is an entire ministry for women that formulates and implements policies for them.

Women in India have come a long way! From just a skilled homemaker women today have acquired skills and capabilities of not just being a homemaker but being at par with their male counterparts. This is the new generation of women!

Coming back to where I started, the modern women of India need not tolerate her bad husband. She can conveniently call it quits and still be safe and independent.

Given the same circumstances that are prevailing today even women of olden days would have done the same!! 

I like what Robert Anderson said in his play which presents relationships among three married couples:

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce.  The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage: Robert Anderson, Solitaire & Double Solitaire